"Not Married, Not Single"

     While reading the latest issue of Essence magazine (the one with Tyler Perry on the cover..he takes such nice pictures...anyway) I came across an intriguing article. The title snatched my attention right away, "Not Married, Not Single." and as soon as i read it...I was like, "what's up with that? what does that even mean?" So I began the article and the more I read the more my eyes started to widen with disbelief. The author, Kevin Noble Maillard, a professor of law at Syracuse University,   explains how "it's time to rethink what makes a committed relationship and a happy family". He expresses that he is in a committed relationship with a woman, they have lived together for years and are raising a child together, but have no plans now or anytime in the future to get married. He says that according to society his child is "illegitimate". He goes on to say that "my girlfriend and I don't have the piece of paper that makes the world recognize our relationship as stable or permanent. But so what? Being unmarried doesn't mean being alone...we don't need a license from the state to prove our commitment or to gain respect". He then states "I want living together to be taken seriously, and I want ways other than a wedding to 'seal the deal'". He goes on to say "many books claim that marriage improves our lives and make us better people. We'd all like to have a Tinker Bell wave her wand and give us more money, make us happier and make our children smarter, but it's not going to come automatically from jumping brooms and tossing garters". One of his quotes that really caused me to ponder was " marriage will not bring fathers home anymore than fatherhood brings about marriage." He also believes that "unmarried people have fruitful relationships and strong families, but society always wants something more from us...we want our families to feel empowered, included and valued". Finally, his main point for the whole article was that "we should celebrate the families that exist before us rather than reprimand people for 'shacking  up'".
        I am married, so you would think my opinion on this matter would be obvious, but not necessarily. While I do indeed disagree with the author, don't expect every married person to automatically disagree. Some people believe that just because something works for them doesn't mean it works for everyone else...namely marriage. I agree with that also...marriage isn't for everyone. The confusion comes when someone says "marriage isn't for me", yet they live with their partner, have sex, have kids, buy a house, drive each other's cars, use each other as emergency contacts, include each other on their health insurance and name each other as the beneficiary on life insurance policies.. They do all of that but refuse to be apart of an institution that believes in the very same things. Could it be a blatant rebellion against social conformity? When did marriage become more of a social obligation rather than a divine and sacred commitment? Has our generation downgraded the true meaning of marriage?
What do you think? Share your comments and opinions.