Put A Lid On It!

A marriage bond is something special, sacred, like no other and from time to time this bond may get scratched, cracked and even broken. There are many things that can cause such damages to this bond, but one that I believe is so often taken for granted and not taken seriously is Privacy! No one knows the value of true privacy any more, and most of all privacy within a relationship, especially in a marriage. It's one thing for someone from the outside to be all up in your business, but when either husband or wife is the one divulging intimate details about their own marriage, this is where the duck tape comes out. Learn to put a lid on it people. There's nothing more damaging than having your business out there for others to gossip, pick at, pull apart, criticize and judge.         

I know you think it's OK to tell your family what's going on. Surely they have your best interest all the time so you have no doubts they will keep your secrets safe. The thing about family is, they are loyal, but loyalty can bring along bias and that's a problem. You tell them them about your latest fight, what he said to you, how she cursed you out, how he raised his hand at you, or how you caught her with someone else. You vent, get it off your chest and then you feel better. Couple months later, when you're over it, all is forgiven and you and your spouse have moved on, more than likely your family hasn't and they probably never will. You see, they are not in love with your husband/wife and are not so forgiving, so when they start being rude and shooting dirty looks at your partner, don't be surprised, because you were the one that gave them the ammunition.

Then you want to tell your "best friend" or "close" friends, because you trust them, right? Well, there's something my mom always use to say "friend got friend got friend", which simply means, your "best friend" probably has another "best friend" and your "close" friends have many other "close" friends. But even if your friends don't tell anyone else on purpose, accidents do happen and people slip up. Then you wonder why everyone and their grandmother knows your business....because YOU told them. 

Understand that when you spill even just a little about what's going on in your bedroom, you are including others in that bond, the bond shared between only you and your spouse. No one else! I understand you want to vent, or simply get someone else's opinion, or advice, believe me I've been there, probably gonna be there tomorrow, but that only does more harm to your marriage than good. Before you go running your mouth to someone else about your problems, try talking to your spouse first. Try to communicate with each other; talk vent, discuss, argue. Learn to express yourselves to each other instead of outside sources. However, that may not always be an option. Things may be too tense between the two of you or they simply aren't available at that moment. Then take your problems to the only other person allowed in that bond...take it to Jesus! He's always ready to listen!